Tips 41-45: We Are All Parents, Cosmic Energy, Busy-ness, Worry, and Deep Peace

MEDITATION PRACTICE FOR MOMS AND DADS, Tip #41: We are all the Divine Mother and Father. Even if you don't have physical children--i.e. short growing beings (4-leggeds included) living with you for an extended period of time--your life and work are, as Zen Master Teacher Valerie Forstman so beautifully describes--your "beloved children." Embrace each element of your life with the fire of love and the song that one sings for the beloved.

MEDITATION PRACTICE FOR MOMS AND DADS, Tip #42: The "meditative state" is described as being reached when one sits through the watching of thoughts and noticing of sensations until, ultimately, thoughts and sensations are minimized and one is in stillness and fully in the present moment. It is in this state that one can receive the very powerful sustenance of "cosmic energy." Not all sits lead to the meditative state, and being in witness is enough. But some sits do reach that state, and the impact of cosmic energy is noticeable. Parenting can be like that, too--most of the time, while you are playing with your child and being a good parent, you are also planning dinner, thinking about work, and organizing the many details of life in your head. But sometimes, your brain shuts up and you are actually, fully, PLAYING with your kid and having the time of your life acting like a Power Ranger or kicking a ball. Embrace yourself at those times. Then open your chakras and let the cosmic energy flow in, baby. It may not happen all the time, but when it does, that cosmic energy is some powerful stuff, and you need not be sitting on a cushion to receive it!

MEDITATION PRACTICE FOR MOMS AND DADS, Tip #43: When my kids were born, my guru, aka my mom, told me that I was entering "the busy stage of life." And Oy, was she right. And Oy, do we parents love to talk with each other about the busy-ness of it all. But, as we continue our meditation practice to create space in our experience of life, so too can there be space in the busy-ness. The amount of things that need to be tended to might not change, but our whole approach to it can change drastically, starting with an acknowledgement that our attachment to the busy-ness might be causing suffering. How? By thinking about the state of busy-ness all the time. My guru (mom) always gave this bit of advice: "Saunter." Commiserate less, experience more. Off now to saunter to my desk, then to two meetings, then chores, then car repair (again), then picking up kids, then piano practice, then redirecting my sons new obsession with the word "poop," then dealing with fatigue and runny noses, then homework, then cooking...then counting some stars and breathing in some cinnamon tea. One glorious busy-but-not-busy moment at a time.

MEDITATION PRACTICE FOR MOMS AND DADS, Tip #44: Parenting can put you in a constant state of urgency, usually due to the fast pace of taking care of soooo many little things all day long. When you are beginning to panic because you forgot to cut the organic carrots in cute little circles instead of the long, skinny way, which is how your son used to like it but now he likes the circles, it is time to make some time for meditation. At best, meditation puts everything into a healthy perspective. At the very least, you begin to watch how silly your mind sounds worrying as much about the shape of your kid's baby carrots as it does on world issues, creating peace, and saving the planet.

MEDITATION PRACTICE FOR MOMS AND DADS, Tip #45: At a recent talk, "Untethered Soul" author/spiritual teacher Mickey Singer spoke of the spiritual path as leading to "The peace that passeth all understanding." This passething thing I totally get. It is understandable that it is hard to feel peace when your 3 your old is throwing a tantrum about being offered a carob bar and not being able to have a Kit Kat while forty-two people at the health food store are watching and going tsk-tsk. It is understandable that you feel at a loss to explain to your devastated tween daughter why Orangutans might be going extinct in ten years thanks to spoiled human logging. But once you have had a glimpse of the deep stillness beneath the storm of everyday life, you begin to realize with awe that eventually, even catastrophe will not ruffle you. You parent. You experience. You breathe. You love. You cry. It is beyond superficial, mind-based understanding, but who cares? There's nothing at all to figure out, because for some reason, when you reach this state, your son begins to like chemical-free chocolate, and the Orangutans have a real chance, and the tears flowing from your childrens' eyes are from their open loving hearts instead of frustration.