MEDITATION
PRACTICE FOR MOMS AND DADS, TIP #57: Meditation and many other
spiritual practices place much emphasis on the present moment. But in
parenting, it sometimes serves up to visit the past and future in order
to gain perspective on, and fully embrace, the present. Take my 4-year
old today. We homeschool, so are pretty much in each others' company
24/7. Most of the time, we get into a groove
and its just wonderful. But today, he was overtired and acting very
toddler-ish, and I was about at my wit's end. I gave both of us time
outs, during which time I quickly remembered that these "toddler
moments" were a regular thing not so long ago, that I didn't even have
the luxury of getting tasks done quickly, having time to myself or even
taking a bath like I enjoy regularly now, and that by next year he will
be so much more grown that what seems like an infernal eternity right
now will soon be a memory, never again to be experienced between us. By
the time our time outs were over, the present moment never seemed
sweeter.
MEDITATION
PRACTICE FOR MOMS AND DADS, Tip #58: Modern day parents are given the
advice that to boost your child's brain power, phonetic awareness,
communication skills, early comprehension abilities, and more, that you
should start talking to your child constantly pretty much from birth.
Trying to be the best mom ever, I took this advice to heart and began a
narrative of every moment with both of
my babies, beginning prenatally. Sure enough, and just as the experts
portrayed, both of my kids have excellent comprehension and
communication skills. In fact, none of us ever shut up. We have become a
house of yakkity-yaks, saying things like "bum pity bump" when we drive
over a bump, expressing every experience, thought, emotion in painful
detail. In 20/20 hindsight, I realize that if I had to do it over
again, I would devote equal amounts of time to the miracle and magic of
silence. We now allow ourselves, and with some effort, to be just
quiet. We actively resist the temptation to say--anything. We started
by calling it the Quiet Game, but now, with just a few glimpses of the
peace and Universe connection, without the distraction of narrative, my
kids and I are starting to go there on our own, without giving it a
label like Quiet Game or Meditation Time. The experts love to talk
about the importance of communication, but through silence we have
discovered a communication with Truth that is much, much deeper and more
profound, that supercedes developmental benchmarks, time, space, and
labels.
MEDITATION
TIPS FOR MOMS AND DADS, Tip #59: It is relatively easy to be
"spiritual" around friends and acquaintances. It is relatively easy to
apply the practices of noticing your emotions and thoughts, for example,
as you relate to them, remain in a centered space, and then go
somewhere else to meditate or let go further as needed, etc. It is
entirely another thing to be "spiritual" when your kids
are sick with the flu, your husband is in a bad mood, and you haven't
slept for four days. Even if you "act spiritual," they'll knock that act
down in about two seconds. But if you allow yourself to be soaked in
every last unglamorous bit of it--boogers, nerves, and all--then the
Divine Mother will hold you securely.
MEDITATION
PRACTICE FOR MOMS AND DADS, Tip #60: My father's face was deeply etched
with lines and they were, for the most part, the happiest lines you've
ever seen: upturned smiling crow's feet, expressively aware forehead
lines, carefree dimples. There was one clear furrow between his eyes,
though, revealing that serious part--the concentration and focus of a
scientist, the deep thinking, and the
internal demons. For the first time, I am seeing the same pattern of
lines beginning to imprint permanently on my own face that so resembles
his. And just like his, I adore the happy lines but would gladly botox
the invasive brow furrow away, for it is the one stinker that indicates
that I have had more than a few moments in a less-than-la-la state of
being. During meditation, one often experiences great releases in the
face: the jaw, the forehead, the eyebrows, the temples. I have watched more than a
few parents, in deep relationship with their children, with faces
squinched up in concentration, frustration, debilitation, and have
started to become mindful of my own. The amount of tension stored in my
face is mind-boggling. It even tenses up when I am wrapped up in a
yoga pose meant to release something else like the hips or upper back. To be mindful of the
face is cathartic. Not because it might stave off those pesky wrinkles--"face" it; they're here to stay!--but to achieve a deeper sense
of awareness and relation with yourself in the present moment. It has become an integral part
of my meditation, not only on the mat but now, especially, during the
day-to-day mundanities, joys, and frustrations of parenting.
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