Friday, September 20, 2013

Tips 11-15: Fairies, Time, Flabby Arms, and the Secret to Happiness

Tip #11: By all means, permit your kids to meditate with you. But they may not need it. When my daughter was 4, she asked me why I meditate. I told her it was because it was the only way I could see the Fairies in the Forest. Her reply: "Oh! I get it. So I don't need to meditate, 'cuz they are always playing with me." At 9, she says she still sees them about every day. Still, sometimes both of my kids will come and sit on my lap during meditation time and we will "watch for the Fairies." Nothing more needs to be done at this point, unless your now 4-year old son decides to freeze them with his imaginary ice blaster.

MEDITATION PRACTICE FOR MOMS AND DADS, "Just Do It" Tip #12: Many parental units say that they don't have any time for basic grooming, like shaving, tweezing, or showering, nevermind time for meditation. However, one of the many benefits of meditation is that more of the finer details of life's experiences are noticed, since one is not as caught up in the maelstrom of thought, meaning it is much more likely that you will notice and tend to your unibrow, nose growths and/or your, er, eau de musk.

 MEDITATION PRACTICE FOR MOMS AND DADS, "Just Do It" Tip #13: Sometimes, after one has established a meditation practice, it is common to experience weight gain, including flabby triceps and glutei. This effect is due to the release of stress, as tension burns calories, and the release of tension can slow the metabolism. I call this the "Angel Wing Effect" (with credit to Roswita Pellowski for the application of the term). It often deters new meditators from continuing with their meditation due to a particular level of totally freaking out that makes them want to spend that precious 30-45 minutes for a second run on the treadmill instead of a single sit on the zafu cushion. If one can breathe through and get past this stage, one may find that they eventually become much healthier, inside and out, and confident enough to bare any kinds of arms they wish.

 MEDITATION PRACTICE FOR MOMS AND DADS, "Just Do It" Tip #14: Sometimes, despite the right conditions, proper allotment of time, a quiet space, etc., your "Monkey Mind" will simply not ease off during your entire sit. Sometimes, in fact, it even seems to get more hyper, leaving one with a sense that their meditation for the day has failed. This is not at all dissimilar to the indescribably frustrated feeling you have when, despite all of your best efforts, your 4-year old simply will not get to sleep, and instead wants to play "Alien Cash Register" on his pillow until midnight with lots of loud BEEP BEEP BEEPing sounds, even though at 5:45pm he was close to drifting off but you redirected him from falling asleep so he wouldn't be awake all night and you were so proud because for SURE he would fall asleep at 8pm, and then you could meditate.... This is not failure. This is a great chance to bow to the mysterious force that Einstein credits for all of the indescribable events that remind us that we are not the ones in control of our micro-universes, and certainly not the big "Universe" itself, though we sure love to try. It can be met with laughter, albeit occasionally it comes out sounding a bit maniacal.

MEDITATION PRACTICE FOR MOMS AND DADS, "Just do It" Tip #15: Up at 5am. Hit snooze, miss morning meditation. Up for real at 5:40. Lunches made, kids dressed and fed and off to school, errands done, phone calls and emails returned, oops missed an email--important--got it--answered phone call from boss, answered two texts, chickens fed, dog poop picked up, 90 minutes till time to get kids; FINALLY time to meditate. Right? Wrong. Husband: "Car broke. We have to go and take it in to the mechanic, NOW." Notice feelings: Dejected. Sad. Disappointed. Notice that the feelings are in my stomach. Remember a great quote from a master: "Happiness, according to me, means acceptance of what-is in any situation. The ultimate happiness is contentment and contentment means acceptance, not 'wanting' happiness. Not seeking happiness means accepting whatever is at the moment. Acceptance means acceptance of happiness or unhappiness, as it happens. Acceptance means surrender and surrender means expecting no change, wanting no change. Everything happens. Nobody does anything."
- Ramesh Balsekar, THE END OF DUALITY

Happy.

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