Tip #11: By all means, permit your kids to meditate with
you. But they may not need it. When my daughter was 4, she asked me
why I meditate. I told her it was because it was the only way I could
see the Fairies in the Forest. Her reply: "Oh! I get it. So I don't
need to meditate, 'cuz they are always playing
with me." At 9, she says she still sees them about every day. Still,
sometimes both of my kids will come and sit on my lap during meditation
time and we will "watch for the Fairies." Nothing more needs to be done
at this point, unless your now 4-year old son decides to freeze them
with his imaginary ice blaster.
MEDITATION
PRACTICE FOR MOMS AND DADS, "Just Do It" Tip #12: Many parental units
say that they don't have any time for basic grooming, like shaving,
tweezing, or showering, nevermind time for meditation. However, one of
the many benefits of meditation is that more of the finer details of
life's experiences are noticed, since one is not as caught up in the
maelstrom of thought, meaning it is much more likely that you will
notice and tend to your unibrow, nose growths and/or your, er, eau de
musk.
MEDITATION
PRACTICE FOR MOMS AND DADS, "Just Do It" Tip #13: Sometimes, after one
has established a meditation practice, it is common to experience
weight gain, including flabby triceps and glutei. This effect is due to
the release of stress, as tension burns calories, and the release of
tension can slow the metabolism. I call this the "Angel Wing Effect"
(with credit to Roswita Pellowski for the
application of the term). It often deters new meditators from
continuing with their meditation due to a particular level of totally
freaking out that makes them want to spend that precious 30-45 minutes
for a second run on the treadmill instead of a single sit on the zafu
cushion. If one can breathe through and get past this stage, one may
find that they eventually become much healthier, inside and out, and
confident enough to bare any kinds of arms they wish.
MEDITATION
PRACTICE FOR MOMS AND DADS, "Just Do It" Tip #14: Sometimes, despite
the right conditions, proper allotment of time, a quiet space, etc.,
your "Monkey Mind" will simply not ease off during your entire sit.
Sometimes, in fact, it even seems to get more hyper, leaving one with a
sense that their meditation for the day has failed. This is not at all
dissimilar to the indescribably frustrated
feeling you have when, despite all of your best efforts, your 4-year
old simply will not get to sleep, and instead wants to play "Alien Cash
Register" on his pillow until midnight with lots of loud BEEP BEEP
BEEPing sounds, even though at 5:45pm he was close to drifting off but
you redirected him from falling asleep so he wouldn't be awake all night
and you were so proud because for SURE he would fall asleep at 8pm, and
then you could meditate.... This is not failure. This is a great
chance to bow to the mysterious force that Einstein credits for all of
the indescribable events that remind us that we are not the ones in
control of our micro-universes, and certainly not the big "Universe"
itself, though we sure love to try. It can be met with laughter, albeit
occasionally it comes out sounding a bit maniacal.
MEDITATION
PRACTICE FOR MOMS AND DADS, "Just do It" Tip #15: Up at 5am. Hit
snooze, miss morning meditation. Up for real at 5:40. Lunches made,
kids dressed and fed and off to school, errands done, phone calls and
emails returned, oops missed an email--important--got it--answered phone
call from boss, answered two texts, chickens fed, dog poop picked up,
90 minutes till time to get kids; FINALLY
time to meditate. Right? Wrong. Husband: "Car broke. We have to go
and take it in to the mechanic, NOW." Notice feelings: Dejected. Sad.
Disappointed. Notice that the feelings are in my stomach. Remember a
great quote from a master: "Happiness, according to me, means acceptance
of what-is in any situation. The ultimate happiness is contentment and
contentment means acceptance, not 'wanting' happiness. Not seeking
happiness means accepting whatever is at the moment. Acceptance means
acceptance of happiness or unhappiness, as it happens. Acceptance means
surrender and surrender means expecting no change, wanting no change.
Everything happens. Nobody does anything."
- Ramesh Balsekar, THE END OF DUALITY
Happy.
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