Friday, September 27, 2013

TIPS 23-25: Hurricanes, Oneness, and Awfulizing

MEDITATION PRACTICE FOR MOMS AND DADS, Tip #23: Here in Florida, we talk about hurricanes a lot. The other day, my daughter was asking me about the eye of the hurricane. We talked about how it is supposed to be very beautiful and almost mystically calm when the eye passes over. She noted that "If a really big hurricane comes, I would just find my way to the eye and just stay in there." My meddling monkey mind thought about this for a moment and chimed in: "Oh, no. The eye is right in the middle of it. You'd be stuck. How would you get out? What if you can't stay there and the worst parts of the hurricane are right there? Best to get as far from the hurricane as possible." My daughter's response: "Momma, you can just stay in the eye until the hurricane eventually runs out of energy. Then you are never blown away, and you get to experience something really amazing." Whoa. Never, EVER underestimate the natural Divine wisdom of a 9-year old. See you in the Eye.

MEDITATION PRACTICE FOR MOMS AND DADS, Tip #24: Meditation brings us into Oneness. There is no small "I", no bubble of the individual... Only the big "I" of the Ocean, the infinite, connected awareness. But should you ever feel disconnected, look no further than the natural, daily interactions with your own kids or loved ones. Their happiness is your happiness. Their pride in achievements is your own pride and joy. Their grief cuts through your heart deeper than if you were the one having the direct experience. Take any elementary-aged soccer game, when two dads might either slug or hug each other in direct proportion to what their sons are doing out in the field, or any exhausted middle-schooler trying to finish their homework late at night while their parent's hearts' and bodies similarly hurt from the fatigue and frustration, or any mom that has sobbed with her five-year old daughter when her beloved pet hamster Fluffy dies. There is no "you" and "them," no mind creating separation. You are in these perfect moments absolutely together, and your Source is the same.

 MEDITATION PRACTICE FOR MOMS AND DADS, Tip #25: In parenting, we call this the "downward spiral:" Mom hasn't had enough sleep and is fighting off a cold, making her a bit on the edge. Daughter asks to have double fudge cupcakes before dinner. Mom says "No!" a little bit too sternly. Son trips and falls over his Transformer toy and starts to cry. Mom gets mad that toy was left out. Daughter asks for dessert again. Mom screams "I SAID NOOOO! WHEN ARE YOU BOTH GOING TO LEARN TO LISTEN? AND WHY IS THIS HOUSE SO MESSY! GO TO YOUR ROOMS!!!!" Both kids start to cry and go to rooms and slam doors. Mom feels terrible, and then begins what is know on the spiritual path as the "downward spiral of the mind," also known in psychological circles as "awfulizing": "Wow, I really messed up. I took all my own anger on my kids. I have screwed them up for life. Who am I. I am a terrible mom. I need to do better. Their entire fate is in my hands." Mom stays depressed all night, kids stay sad, etc. In meditation, we practice allowing for ALL of this to happen, because it will, because we are human vessels with emotions and pain. By relaxing and allowing even the parts we don't want to happen happen, while consciously pouring love into oneself, they dissolve sooner than you can believe it. Just by being conscious that it is all happening, one is allowing those negative spirals to bring us to awareness and move beyond it, opening space for unbelievable Love and gratitude. Then you can get back to the business of whatever the next experience is. And thank goodness we are here in the first place to have any experiences at all.
 

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